Jokes
Q: What can a guitarist do easier than a pianist?
A: Tune to drop D.
Q: What did the electric guitar say to the acoustic guitar?
A: Nothing - guitars can't talk.
Q: What's the difference between a bassist and a pizza?
A: A pizza can actually feed a family.
Q: What did the guitar with the strap say to the guitar without a strap?
A: "You stay down there; I'll hang around."
Q: What's the difference between a wet acoustic guitar and a wet electric guitar?
A: The differences are quite shocking:
The acoustic guitar is going to sound wet-erfully, while the electric guitar is going to have a little extra sting.
Q: What's the difference between a singer and a guitar player?
A: A guitarist has a fret to bear.
What did the flamenco guitarist say to the heavy metal guitarist?
Flamenco Guitarist: "You're too loud."
Heavy Metal Guitarist: "It's not that I'm too loud, it's that you're too quiet."
Flamenco Guitarist: "It's not that I'm too quiet, it's that you need hearing aids."
- thanks Aayan!
How many music theory terms can you find and define in this story?
A C, an E-flat, and a G go into a bar. The bartender says: "Sorry, but we don't serve minors." So, the E-flat leaves, and the C and the G have an open fifth between them.
After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished and the G is out flat. An F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough.
A D comes into the bar and heads straight for the bathroom saying, "Excuse me. I'll just be a second."
An A comes into the bar, but the bartender is not convinced that this relative of C is not a minor. Then the bartender notices a B-flat hiding at the end of the bar and exclaims: "Get out now! You're the seventh minor I've found in this bar tonight."
The E-flat, not easily deflated, comes back to the bar the next night in a 3-piece suit with nicely shined shoes. The bartender (who used to have a nice corporate job until his company downsized) says: "You're looking sharp tonight, come on in! This could be a major development."
This proves to be the case, as the E-flat takes off the suit, and everything else, and stands there au natural.
Eventually, the C sobers up, and realizes in horror that he's under a rest.
The C is brought to trial, is found guilty of contributing to the diminution of a minor, and is sentenced to 10 years of DS without Coda at an upscale correctional facility.
On appeal, however, the C is found innocent of any wrongdoing, even accidental, and that all accusations to the contrary are bassless.
The bartender decides, however, that since he's only had tenor so patrons, the soprano out in the bathroom, and everything has become alto much treble, he needs a rest - and closes the bar.
~of unknown origin
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